Posts

The susceptible tragedy of a child

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The first time I heard a man from India, who took his parents to court for giving birth to him without his consent, I thought it was a joke.  When I read the article by Geeta Pandey published on 7 February 2019, my mind raced with so many questions. How does one get permission to be born? I remember my mother telling me I was an unwanted pregnancy. She only gave birth to me because God told her not to abort me. I was only 12 when she proclaimed the news. My response was, "To God be the glory for the great things he has done!" Now I understand why people here in the US say, "If you nothing nice to say, don't say it at all." I remember my youth and adolescent years where I was subjected to violence. Both parents were physically and verbally abusive towards each other. There was nothing I could do to make them stop. I took it upon myself to be my siblings' protector.  When I towered over my mother's height the physical abuse stopped, but she continued the v

Equal partnership

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  Embarking on the journey of a committed relationship or marriage is a significant milestone. ~  Lauren Southards In any relationship, regardless of status whether it be a business, romantic, matrimonial, social or filial exchange of ideas, shared interests or goals, people need to realize that you are no longer the focus. It has been a very challenging transition for me when I emigrated to the United States. Every individual is counted as part of the collective but never as a whole. Where I grew up in Brunei with Filipino parents, the mindset imparted to me was to always think of others. Focusing on yourself was deemed as a negative impact to the family and the community. After 25 years of being inundated with verbal abuse, one might think I would have followed the same footsteps as my parents. Don't get me wrong. I love my parents. They fed us well and cared for our needs despite their financial strain as a couple. My mother worked 7 jobs. That was how she dedicated herself to t

Who are you?

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Self-awareness is your ability to perceive and understand the things that make you who you are as an individual, including your personality, actions, values, beliefs, emotions, and thoughts. It is essentially a psychological state in which the self becomes the focus of attention or simply where you become self-conscious. Self-awareness is the ability to identify and connect your emotions, thoughts, values, beliefs, and behaviors. It can help you remain consistent and focus on what you need to work on. Building self-awareness can help you understand how these thoughts, feelings, and actions impact your health and sense of well-being, as well as the people around you. Developing self-awareness is possible at any age. It can start by asking for feedback, checking in with yourself every day, and knowing who can provide you with honest information about your actions. Self-awareness can lead you to feel more confident, accept yourself more, and reduce stress when interacting with other peopl

Developing healthy relationships

Keeping a relationship hasn't been easy for me. I was raised to obey, serve and protect. It was my duty of the eldest child to uphold family traditions and livelihood. In my family, if you can't survive on your own, you're considered useless.  My parents should be grateful that I am well-rounded with my sense of self-worth. Even though it took my father 30 years to realize that he had a daughter worth being proud of, I am still reminded, without a shadow of a doubt, that I am still worthless. Chinese families will never accept women to carry on the legend of the family name. I am also Filipino. I have to earn my respect but I must always give respect to the elders regardless of their malignant behaviors toward the family. Trust is not a currency in Filipino families. It never was and shall never be. I have broken both Chinese and Filipino culture stereotypes. I have embraced my individuality graciously and humbly to circumvent the abuse I have experienced for over 3 decades

Sex education: Masculine hygiene

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 Did you know?      Yeast infections frequently occur in men, even though they’re most common in women. Alright guys, time to buckle up with cleaning tools. According to Madeline Vann, MPH , "Over time, it’s not unusual for some simple personal hygiene habits to go missing from the average man’s daily routine. And when that happens, it can stifle or sideline friendships, intimate relationships, and interactions with coworkers." Wyatt Myers came up with 8 Essential Grooming rules for you guys.  #1 Use Deodorant.  Maurice Voce, co-founder and chief marketing officer of Skin Authority says, "A deodorant gets rid of odor caused by sweating, while antiperspirants actually stop and dry up perspiration. Look for an antiperspirant/deodorant combination and make sure the fragrance isn't too overpowering." I recommend  Old Spice deodorant .  #2 Wash your face. If you think you are being "tough" by not washing you're face, your parents must have hated you.