The susceptible tragedy of a child

The first time I heard a man from India, who took his parents to court for giving birth to him without his consent, I thought it was a joke. 

When I read the article by Geeta Pandey published on 7 February 2019, my mind raced with so many questions. How does one get permission to be born?

I remember my mother telling me I was an unwanted pregnancy. She only gave birth to me because God told her not to abort me. I was only 12 when she proclaimed the news.

My response was, "To God be the glory for the great things he has done!"

Now I understand why people here in the US say, "If you nothing nice to say, don't say it at all."

I remember my youth and adolescent years where I was subjected to violence. Both parents were physically and verbally abusive towards each other. There was nothing I could do to make them stop. I took it upon myself to be my siblings' protector. 

When I towered over my mother's height the physical abuse stopped, but she continued the verbal, emotional and spiritual warfare against me. I was a very angry kid for a very long time.

After reading Mr Samuel's plight, I wondered the plausibility of his thought process. His mother, a lawyer stated in the interview: "I must admire my son's temerity to want to take his parents to court knowing both of us are lawyers. And if Raphael could come up with a rational explanation as to how we could have sought his consent to be born, I will accept my fault," she said.

To have the guile with this argument only to nullify it with a statement: "It's like being put in a room you don't want to be in," was very foolish. 

On my 35th birthday, my mother reminded me of how much she wanted to abort me but couldn't because of her Christian values. She truly wished I was never born.

My desire for Death to visit me was not to satisfy my mother's notion but to confirm my suspicions of her maltreatment of me. If she truly wanted me dead, she would have done so when I was 7.

According to my father, I was too smart for my own good. I took that statement to heart. I managed to outwit my parents several times under their care. Despite the trauma and abuse, I kept to myself believing that God will save me. When that day happened, I never looked back.

I promised myself that I would be a parent worthy of a child's admiration. I took parenting classes, I enrolled in various self-help classes to prepare myself as a fit parent. Even then, I still struggled to satisfy my own child's expectation. I did the best I could with what I had. 

How tragic it is to be that parent {you see in the movies} with so much money and resources - only to be burdened by a child, who feels entitled to material things rather than the time spent to ensure its survival to adulthood was optimal?

If you are a child reading this, I am sorry for all the trials and tribulations you had to endure under the circumstances not being able to speak your mind, walk on your own, and be financially independent at the time of birth. You are at the mercy of your parents. 

If you have risen from the challenges of life, I applaud your determination, tenacity, courage and aptitude in surviving life's lemons. I am proud of you. 

Just because of war, famine, destitution, poverty and desolation, do not lose sight of what's important. 

Important things to remember:

• You only live once. Having a second chance at life is not to waste time ruminating what could have been, but to make time in what you can.
• Self-care of body, mind and spirit is as important as selfless acts of kindness unto others
• Take each challenge one step at a time. Learning your limitations is not defeat but discovering another avenue to your destination. 
• Keep your wits about you. Never let anyone define who you are.
• Remember to always be grateful even though you experienced challenges along the way.
• Your fear should only be driven by things you cannot control: - nature, time and space.

Enjoy your youth while you can. Learning doesn't expire after college. Manifest the positive things you learned along the way to adulthood. Take heart of the life lessons you experienced from difficult people and hardship circumstances. Do not keep people who take you down to their level. Always seek help from others who lift people up.

Your life is your own. If adults can't accept that of you, do not heed their instructions. If you see and hear something that needs attention, speak up and express your truth.

Always fact check the information you receive from others. 

Be brave. Be You. Be everything you want in the world to see.