Adult musings

 To all the people I've angered and hurt, I want to deeply express my remorse. I hope you forgive me. 

Growing up isn't just about becoming an adult. It's about learning and growing in an endless and expanding Universe and how to be connected among its elements.

The polity of society is all but order in the chaos of Nature. Being a pusillanimous is not all that bad. Sometimes you just have to outweigh the risks over the benefit.

There are plenty of people who like to mooch off from your skills and abilities. Be alert and wary of such associations. Do not believe for a moment that your act of kindness and generosity as a sign of weakness. In reality it's not. It's a strong virtue of a decent human being.

When you are raised in a household built on trust, loyalty, patience, compassion and grace, you are more than just a model citizen. You are the epitome of  God's likeness. Whether you believe in the God of the Universe, that's entirely a matter of opinion and personal spiritual discovery.

Children learn best when they feel safe. When you want them to learn life's most important values, you must understand that they need to feel emotionally and physically safe. Taking responsibility of your attitude and action, you become a safer adult for any child. Establish a foundation of trust.

Foundation: You are safe with me

To truly grow as an adult, examine your thoughts, feelings, motives and your perception of reality. Just because you're an adult, doesn't give you full authority on another's autonomy and individually of self-image. Basically, if you don't like to be controlled, why do you want to control others?

The Parable of the Prodigal Son is one example of stories many Christians like to tell the non-believers. The misconception of the parable in layman's term is that you are welcomed with open arms regardless of what you did. The true intent of the parable is to show others and ourselves that regardless of who we are, we are loved. Who are you?

Who is Lei Anne? She is one curious and adventurous person. Although she has a debilitating condition, she finds ways to adjust her lifestyle according to her strengths and abilities. Despite her current circumstance, she is willing to learn from others. 

Connect: You are loved; no matter what

When dealing with difficult people or situations, the first response is "What can I do to help?" If you know what the other is capable of, collaborate and compromise for a solution. Self-control and self-discipline will not only cater to reconcile the relationship, it gains respectful and deeper connection with each other as well. 

When we embrace our self-worth along with other's, it provides exceptional opportunities to breathe life into the relationship. When you start asking questions or offer choices to resolve a conflict, you allow yourself and others to call their convictions into play. What they can offer on the table to arrive with a solution will benefit all involved. Remember to compromise, since your available solutions can  not fix all dilemmas.

Coach: You are called and capable

Despite our best efforts in learning how to be a responsible and reasonable adult, we still face tensions, conflicts, dilemmas, trials and tribulations. Things that are beyond our control is basically inevitable and wasted energy towards a futile attempt for power.

Humans are born inexperienced, naked, lost, afraid and helpless. No one is born good or evil. When our consequences are rooted in love, without prejudice or preconceived notions, we can effectively communicate that we are responsible for our actions: in what we say and do. If you're unfamiliar with this approach, these teachings might seem unrealistic.

I am living proof of this mindful living. The freedom to self-express without hate or disdain. My passion to live in a peaceful world is rendered in chaos. The beauty of deviance is that you stand up for what is good, right and just. You also have to acknowledge other's self-image and their perception of reality. 

When people experience love and support, and are assured of their safety and well-being, they will begin to believe in the message of mercy, grace, agape love and the truth behind your intent. They become people willing to open their minds to wonder, expansive realms of opportunities and contribute to the greater good of mankind.

Correct: You are responsible for your actions

When we respond to tensions and conflicts, we tend to fall back on our past experience and perspective on the dilemma. The message we want to convey is that, "You are responsible for your actions. I know you are capable and reasonable. What can we do to resolve this conflict?"

Allowing each other this moment, help build wisdom in respect to the moment rather than the past or the future. Being mindful of the moment prepares us to respond with empathy. When we get too upset or emotional, make a note of how you feel and why you're having this feeling in the moment.

The calming impact of writing things down versus a screaming match does wonders. When you make the greatest progress in overcoming conflicts, you become committed adults in making sound decisions and reasonable solutions to solving problems or conflicts.

Growing up in a domestic violent home without room for growth or patience, I had the most difficult time accepting failure. When a wise man told me that when you learn from your mistake, it's not the end of the world. It's an opportunity for you to try again using a different method with better information and tools. Whenever someone makes a mistake, I try my hardest to ask them if they want my help. Opening my door for support has helped me understand that there are people capable of coming up with their own solutions. I learn from their skills and abilities too.  

Yes; becoming an adult is hard work. Are you up for the challenge?