Relationships at its finest

 Your first experience connecting with another person will always be your parents. Granted, some children are fortunate to have parents who are of sound mind, an emotional quotient of a saint, and have a vast capacity of patience.

I can't compare my experience to other children's lives, but the main cause of my suffering was the lack of support and understanding of how to be human and connect in a meaningful way.

If I were to paraphrase a statement of what someone said, will the context and meaning of the message be construed? Most definitely! It is why many religions choose their words carefully.

Religion in its most altruistic form is good. Many people would benefit from it. Here are the most common sense notions that I know everyone will agree on.

• Do not promise what you cannot keep
• If you don't know, simply state so. Make this a quest for knowledge.
• Children are born without experience. Advocate to be their mentor and guide without prejudice.
• Pick up after yourself. No one in their right mind would touch your dirt.
• Return the favor after a charitable gesture
• There is a time and place for everything. Be mindful of your surroundings
• When in ire, take a step back, take a deep breathe, splash your face in cold water, dig a hole and scream. Plant a tree and see how it grows
• When all else fails, cry a river, hold on to your pants, and find your muse

As you become more self-aware of your actions and who you are, you learn what to do, what not to do, and new ways to do things through reflection.

The difference between reflecting upon your thoughts and ruminating what transpired, is the intent of focus. Are you focusing on the positive outcome or the negative aspect of the circumstance? 

Filial relationships are difficult to keep. The ebb and flow of your relationship with your parents are tied to expectations of each other. The best part of it is when either party are in harmony with one another. This kind of relationship is of the highest respect because trust and respect are strongly established within its keep.

Pragmatic relationships are rare, but possible to attain when couples work towards bonding their idiosyncrasies, insecurities, limitations and consternations into strengths, acceptance and grace. It takes 5 years for couples to get along with each other's limitations and concerns. If you are unable to work with someone, whom you wish to spend the rest of your life with, it's best to end the relationship sooner rather than later. If neither of you are willing to work together, but instead enforce a commitment out of manic infatuation, neither  one of you will get you both what you want anywhere.

Philosophic relationships are everywhere. People connecting on a level by common interests or affiliations tend to be fun, exciting and arbitrary. There are amazing friends, who can strike a conversation after a long pause or remember where you left off the last time you spoke to each other. Depending on the type of friends you keep, they may last for a life-time. It is best to keep an open channel of communication, as people tend to assume the worst of you. 

Sometimes defining your variables is a good idea. Take for example, you are in a situation where there is an emergency. "It is on fire." What is on fire? The stove? The food? The washcloth?

There are other times when it is not a good idea to state your variables. Take for example, you're in a meeting or at lunch with someone's acquaintance. Oversharing is saying something personal or inappropriate in the wrong setting or to the wrong person.

Philautic love is not selfish when you need time to recuperate from stress, depression, anxiety and trauma. It is healthy for your well-being to define your key points of consent and establish healthy boundaries with others.

It is healthy to be in tune with your emotions. In all privacy, say what you feel, acknowledge the thoughts of your feelings, recognize the physical signs of that feeling and exorcise the effects of those feelings. You can voice it out over a recording, to your pet, or whatever you are comfortable using at your expense.

If you are unable to confide in anyone, there are services available for you to take advantage of. As a Disabled Combat Veteran of United States Air Force, I am able to share this resource with you.

My motto growing up was "You're not the only one." I've said it so often, I've grown to hate the concept of it's meaning. I have learned that different people cope with similar situations differently. 

I'm learning to accept help and support. My motto now is, "Hey, I'm here. I'll hold your hand while we're in the storm. If we get separated, I'll come find you."